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Several weeks ago, I had an experience that has changed my life. I chose to attend the Double Blessings meeting at Glen Oaks Hospital in Glendale Heights, IL because the speaker’s topic was "Taking Yelling Out of Your Home." That title made it a must for me to attend. I am so glad that I did. I am writing because I wanted you to know that you have made an impact on me at a time in my life when I needed it most. I would like to take a few minutes to tell you why what you had to say was so important for me to hear….
Your program really filled in the blanks for me. Four ideas that really stuck with me and those that I try to implement in my home daily are: take care of me, whomever’s problem it is - owns it, avoid arguing with the children, and give the children choices.
Take care of myself, what a concept! Of course, I have thought about the physical aspect of caring for myself – exercising, drinking water, eating well, sleeping, etc. However, I hadn’t really thought much about taking care of myself emotionally in the way that you described it. I really needed to hear that I should make choices about how I handle situations based on whether or not my response would be good for me.
Thinking about who owns a problem has been an amazing revelation for me. I have realized that I often take on others problems when they really aren’t mine to have. Getting all worked up about a problem that is not even mine just wasn’t helping anyone. Becoming aware of who owns a problem has allowed me to have much calmer reactions to some of the nonsense that comes from the kids.
Avoid arguing with the children - how silly it really is to engage in an argument with a child anyway. I have used some of the one liners that you mentioned and when I find that I'm becoming engaged in an argument I try to put a stop to it immediately.
I have also used choices with my three boys, which has made a measurable difference. I previously was doing a lot of the 1-2-3 counting and found with my first child that he actually learned to NOT listen the first time. I hope not to make the same mistake with my twins. It is interesting how they think that they have more control when they can make a choice – even when I have actually chosen the choices based on my own needs.
Thank you both for stepping into my life just when I needed you. You have empowered me. You have helped me to realize that I have not lost control -that I have the ability to make changes in the way that I parent my children and handle other aspects of my life. I have realized that a lot of what I was doing was trying to change everyone around me, when I really needed to start taking care of myself and be aware of how I react to the people around me.
I really felt strongly about letting you know what an impact you have had on me. Thank you for letting me share my story. I wish you the best as you continue to shed such a 'logical light' on parenting.
Name Withheld
“Your terrific enthusiasm, participation, and commitment to the profession are sincerely recognized and appreciated! The parental community response to your presentations was outstanding. Because of your fine efforts, our community has a more meaningful understanding of the effective parental practices, strategies, and genuine human involvement which creates such a successful environment for teaching and learning in our schools.” M. Walther, Principal
I attended your lecture at the Parent University and thought your lecture was simply OUTSTANDING! You did a great job of giving practical examples! I will definitely use some of your quotes/oneliners. This was the best lecture that I
attended and made the whole experience worthwhile.
Excellent job!
K.I. Highland Park
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